America, Culture, Family, Funny, Uncategorized

Off the Map

Is it weird that I figuratively drop off the map when I’m home? But when I literally drop off the map, I’m the most plugged in?

Is it also weird that I bake a batch of cookies and then don’t eat any of them? I told my friend the other day that I needed to bake cookies, not for the end result of the cookies, but for the therapy of baking them. So, I did. And I didn’t eat a single one. Weird, right?

I think I’m weird sometimes til I meet a truly weird person. Like Glenn, for example. Great guy. I called him to come fix our printer in the shop. He was pleasant on the phone, called me to tell me he was going to come to the shop on Monday (while also detailing to me multiple times that he was currently en route to another shop in Arkansas but they didn’t tell him it was at the Louisiana border, so it was taking him sooo much longer than he expected, etc., etc,..) and I told him Monday was great.

The thing about it is: I usually don’t have to meet these people face to face. I sit at a desk, call them, give them directions, then let them handle whatever problem they’re coming for. So, I warned the guys that Glenn was coming and I thought he’d be a little eccentric. You know how you just get a feeling about people sometimes?
Glenn arrived on Monday. I looked out and saw his van pull up. Good, he’ll fix the printer and leave. Jake comes in 7 minutes later, asking to sit at my desk, so I turn around and there’s Glenn. It wasn’t Jake who needed my desk, but Glenn.

Not only did Glenn need to sit at my desk, he set up shop there. He kicked back, shuffled all my papers around, set up his laptop among my work in progress. And he stayed. For a long time. Mind you: my desk is no where near the printer that needed fixing. I thought about asking him if I could get him some coffee? Maybe run to town and get a nameplate engraved for him? I would’ve had time.

Finally, he relinquished my desk rights back over to me and I was able to continue what was a very hectic Monday. And, lo and behold, the printer couldn’t even be fixed. Which he informed us of, then spent the next 46 minutes regaling us with the details of his life and all his cats. No, I’m not kidding.

And all he left me thinking was: can I drop off the map again?

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