America, Animals, Farm, Religion

Zoo Crew

Everyone keeps asking me if I have a turtle. And by everyone, I really mean all the little kids I know. There’s a festival in a neighboring town that has a turtle race, so turtles are a hot commodity right now.

Do I look like an animal person to you? Probably. And I actually am, I do really like animals. Turtles aren’t exactly my thing but I’ve had pretty much every pet imaginable. I went through nearly a dozen rabbits growing up. I had chicks and ducks, guinea pigs and a hamster. I had a cat named Sarah and a dog named Sarah. The dog was a boy, but I didn’t care and neither did he. One of my favorite dogs was a Bassett Hound that showed up on our front porch one Spring. I had always wanted a Bassett and when Sally showed up, I said she was the one I had prayed for and God dropped her on my doorstep. Unfortunately, I didn’t specify in my prayers that she needed to be able to see or hear. Because she was deaf and almost completely blind. Loyal as ever, though, and so sweet. This is her, in a cone the vet made her wear for awhile. No, this is not a joke.

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I think I’m getting my payback on the animals though. I don’t usually pick any kids up for church, but last Wednesday night I got a call from a mom saying that she needed me to stop by. It was right in town so I swung by and got them, no big deal.

What I didn’t know was that when we got to church, a couple of their cousins showed up and needed to ride home with the kids I brought. I have a car that seats 5. Let’s do the math. Jake was with me, so we were 2 + 2 kids I picked up + 2 cousins. So 6 in 5 seats.

Again, no big deal. If I remember correctly, my record was 8 of us in 5 seats during college. I wasn’t really that concerned. I told the kids it was fine, I’d take them, and we’d make it work. But, when it came time to leave, the little girl came up and kindly informed me that she and her brother had brought their rabbits with them and they would need a ride too. When I asked where the rabbits were, they said, on the church bus, which had picked them (and their rabbits) up that night. So, I went and had a word with the church bus driver, namely my dad.

Alli and Elsa

Alli and Elsa

When I asked him why Alli and Bobby had been allowed to bring their rabbits, he said they had come out of the house with the cages and said they had to go. So go they did.

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To update, let’s do this math again. Me + Jake + 2 kids + 2 cousins + 2 rabbits. So, as we are walking to the car, rabbits in tow, Justin (one of the two original kids I picked up) said while we were on the playground after church, he’d found a toad and he was keeping it as a pet. I’m in the middle of arranging how to fit all these children and rabbits in my car, so how could I say no to a toad at that point? Cherry on the top of the proverbial cake.

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Well, Alli hates toads, but Maddie loves them, so I made Maddie sit in the middle, Alli had her rabbit, Justin had his toad, and Bobby insisted on sitting up front with Jake and his rabbit. Actually Bobby (who is 5) really wanted to drive the car, but sitting up front and turning the key to start the car got him close enough to the action.

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We were fine for the first two minutes. And when I say fine, what I really mean is Bobby cranked my stereo and managed to roll down the windows, before Jake got control of the situation and kept all our eardrums from bursting. After that, the meltdown happened. Which Jake decided was worth taking a picture of. He’s a great co-pilot, as you can tell.

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While this is going on in the backseat and Jake is busy capturing it and I’m trying to drive, Bobby has his hand on the gearshift and keeps asking me, can I move this, can I move this? I was just waiting for him to throw us into neutral, causing this whole escapade to be complete. But, he didn’t. And, Jake eventually calmed the backseat meltdown and all animals and people made it home safely.

Final count: me + Jake + 2 kids + 2 cousins + 2 rabbits + 1 toad

I think I set a new record.

{Epilogue: I have been informed that Bobby’s rabbit has since passed from this life. He made a good pet and from my own experience, was the best passenger I had in the car that night. He will be missed. RIP Michael the rabbit.}

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One thought on “Zoo Crew

  1. Pingback: Statistic Stories | brittneylorelle

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